Start with understanding rather than evaluating
One person may feel secure in planned savings, while another may value spending on hobbies or experiences. Before assuming which one is more mature, ask what money means to each of you. Invisible realities like family circumstances, income, debt and fixed costs also influence how we spend.
Saying, “You spend too much money” may sound like you are evaluating the person’s entire personality. Instead, choose a situation where you spent money together and talk about how that expense affected you.
Talk about specific spending situations
You can narrow the conversation by starting with a topic you'll decide on jointly, like dating or travel expenses. Ask questions that you can answer together, such as “How much are you both comfortable with spending on this trip?” or “How can we split joint expenses to reduce the burden?”
It is also important to distinguish between personal and communal spending. Agree in advance on the amount of money you will share, but you can set clear boundaries so that you do not unilaterally control personal spending that you have not agreed to. If your income or ability to pay is very different, consider together whether splitting it in half is fair.
Agree and check again
The more specific the number and timing of an agreement are, the easier it is to implement. For example, you can agree on joint expenses above a certain amount, such as discussing them before payment and checking joint expenses once a month. However, you should be able to revisit the rules if an emergency or change in income occurs.
If you have recurring anxieties or conflicts about money, it may not be resolved in one conversation. It is also an option to respect each other's safety and autonomy and seek help from trusted financial and counseling experts when necessary. If there is pressure, control, or financial harm, do not reduce this to a simple difference in personality; put safety and rights first.
MBTI is not a basis for evaluating your financial habits or reliability. It is more realistic to focus the conversation around actual income and expenses and the boundaries you both agree on.